Goodbye 2015

Normally, I love New Years.  I have always viewed it as a time for new beginnings, a time to make changes to better myself.  I'm just not feeling it this year.

I've been trying to figure out something I could change, but I feel like, while there is plenty for me to better about myself, there isn't anything I want to focus on.  At least not for this year particularly.  I am always trying to do better in one area or another.

When Gretchen Rubin said in her book Happier than Before that she tried to come up with one word that serves as her goal for the new year, it got me thinking.

Is there one word that would capture what I want to change for next year?  I couldn't come up with one word but I came up with a phrase.  'Become My Best Self'.  I guess what I mean by that is to up my game in every aspect of my life.  Give my best effort in every aspect of my life.

My plan is to ask myself if my actions are in line with what I picture for my best self.  If they aren't try and do better, and if they are, give myself a gold star.

What is your New Years Resolution?

2015... Like Any Other Year

As far as I can tell this year has been much like any other.  Some ups and some downs, but mostly just the same as before.  There is comfort in that, things being how they were, how I am used to them being.

I searched for world events or even local events that I thought stood out for this year.  Though I know there were probably many, none of them seem to touch me, so it was difficult to choose any.

• The terrorist attacks in Paris.  My heart goes out to those who lost someone, there were so many.  I wish we could find a way to stop them.  
• Liquid water on Mars.  Kind of interesting, but still not vital to my existence.  
• Microsoft came out with Word 2010 which I actually kind of hate.  I was just getting used to the old one.  Why do they have to change it so often?
• We reached the day that Marty McFly came to in the Back to the Future 2.  Kind of fun to see the few things they got right about the future.  They should have had everyone's eyes glued to their cell phones.  I guess no one could predict we would shut ourselves off from each other so completely.  

I asked my family what the highlight of their year was.  

• Brian said going on a trip to Moab last month.  I have to agree it was a great trip.
• Zach said the fall when all the cool new video games came out.  (Ugh)
• Mason said when he did really well on a math test. (Yeah)

I would have to say the highlight of my year was when I started editing my book and realized it was kind of good.  I have learned so much over the last 8 years of writing, and it shows.  Maybe this is the one.  

I wonder, what was the highlight of your year?

Fake It Til You Make It

According the urban dictionary, yes there is such a thing, the term Fake It Til You Make It  means: faking confidence or happiness until you've reached or attained it; displaying what you want to be until you become it.  

I used to think this was being fake, and some would still argue that.  Another definition from the urban dictionary is: Pretending to be something you are not, in hopes of fitting in, joining a group, or getting a job. ie: depicting wealth by wearing expensive clothes, shoes, handbags or driving fancy cars. Pretentious.

I think it is more about making things how you want them to be than pretending.  If you want to fit in a certain group, or get a particular job, you have to act the part.  But if you are acting the part, who is to say it isn't how you are?

After reading The Secret I started to "fake" like I was a positive person, and only thought about things I wanted to happen, instead of worrying about things that weren't happening.  The funny thing is, those things started happening.  I got a new job making a lot more money which in turned allowed my family to travel more, and do other things we wanted to do.

I wonder if there is something to "faking it" that makes it happen.  If you pretend you have confidence or happiness does that mean you actually do?  I don't know but it seems to be working for me.

The Years Are Short

I just finished a book by Gretchen Rubin called Better than Before.  Though the book was about creating and breaking habits, I gleaned something different from it.

I the book she says one of the rules of adulthood is "The weeks are long, but the years are short".  It is really crazy how true that is.  I spend my entire week just waiting for Friday to come.  Once it gets here, I have so much to do my weekend flies by, and I am back to the grind on Monday.  Most weeks feel like they last forever.

Yet when I look back on the past year, years really, it has flown by.  My mom always says once you turn 21 your life passes before your eyes.  It is so true!  I still feel inside like I am 25  years old, yet my body tells me a much different story.

I know life is a journey and we need to try and live in each moment, but sometimes it is so hard.  The only thing I really want to do is be home with my family, which is reserved for the weekends.  Lately, I've been trying to plan more fun things so living in the moment is easier, but I still find myself wishing my life a way and then wondering where it has gone.

Soon my children will be grown ups and have no time for me, and I will think back on this time and wish I had appreciated it more.  It is a conundrum I have yet to solve.  Let me know if you have any advice, but for now, I will try to do better than I did before.