Living in the Moment

My anxiety holds me back from doing a lot of things.  One of the things that is hardest for me is traveling, but for some reason, I feel the need so I push myself to do it.  To make it bearable I have to be very prepared.

For our trip to Moab this weekend I planned for months.  One of the things that stresses me the most it the cost, so I saved for months, just to make sure I didn't have to worry about it.  I packed everything a few days before so I had some time to remember what I had forgotten, but I still missed a few things.  By the time we were leaving I felt like I had planned for everything.  Except I hadn't.

I brought some games for the drive, mostly trivia games like name five or would you rather, to keep us from going crazy.  We laughed at questions like name five expressions for flatulence, and got grossed out about questions like would you rather eat from a toilet seat or have a nose hair 2 feet long.

I had thought the drive there was the time we had to endure until we got to our destination.  Instead, it turned out to be the best part of my trip.  We were driving down the road, the sun setting, all of us (except Brian of course) singing a long to a song on the radio, and I thought to myself, I am happy. I am in the car with the people I love the most, having a great time.  I wanted that moment to last forever.

 Of course it didn't.  The song ended and the kids asked how much longer, but for the first time in my life I understood what it meant to live in the moment. It was a great experience, one I want to try and repeat.

Of course we saw other great stuff but that was my favorite part.  A part I didn't even plan for.